9 Reasons To Fall In Love Tonight

There is no better way to end a year and begin a new one than to fall in love. I do not know why we use the word “fall” to describe two people in love relationship but I like it. It seems to communicate the idea that when you are in love, you no longer maintain your stand or protect your own interests and personal space. People in love fall for one another-don’t they? You cannot be in love and maintain your ground all the time. It is this outward-focus nature of love that makes love truly blissful. Ok, let me say this right here before we go too far: this article is not about romantic love -although that is equally a beautiful topic. My focus is the importance and necessity of unconditional love in relating with other people. I want to share with you 9 powerful reasons you cannot afford to live a LOVE-LESS life or live in bitterness for that matter -at least not in the New Year. If you are already in love, remain in love. If you choose to NOT walk in love, I can tell you with confidence that you would hurt yourself more than you realize.

9 Reasons To Fall In Love
1. Love Is A Sweetener. Love is the flavour that makes life sweet. Without love life is bitter. Little things like ‘thank you’, ‘please’,’ sorry’, ‘welcome’, ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I want to be with you’, etc are the seasonings that make life taste good. People who complain about everything and everyone make life taste sour and bitter; not only for themselves but for people around them. On the other hand, people who show love, give complements and make effort to create harmony around them are the ones that make life taste good like honey. Fall in love and stay in love; then you will find that life is sweet!

2. Love Is Key To Good Health A person who loves enjoys good health but a person living with bitterness often fall sick. There is nothing as emotionally draining as bitterness and resentment. If you really hate another person to the point where you wish them dead the next minute, you might be putting yourself in the danger of dying before they do. Carrying bitterness in ones heart to the point where you cannot sleep without having your offender lying side by side in bed with you each night puts you in a state of mental and emotion breakdown. I believe one of the reasons our hospitals are full of sick people is because we have too many people full of bitterness. There are probably people on their death bed who are cursing and wishing evil on others right now. No wonder some people do not respond well to treatment. Resolve never to go to bed angry, it will do your health some good

3. Love Is Key To Financial Freedom. There is a link between love and financial freedom and between bitterness and poverty. If you love you will give and if you give you will receive. The reverse is also true. If you don’t love you won’t give and if you don’t give you won’t get. It’s that simple. Givers never lack and haters are never free from lack. Did you know that many of the world's richest people are the ones solving problems for people? It is hard to be a successful business person without a true desire to solve problems for people with genuine love. That is why when I see a person who does not care to solve problems for people I know I'm looking at a person who is going to be poor and broke sooner or later. Love leads to financial freedom. Bitterness leads to financial hardship.

It is not only giving that opens financial doors, forgiving also does. Did u know that many people will be rich if they did not owe anyone? If you are bitter and unforgiving, you may never get out of debt. Jesus taught this powerful lesson with the story of a guy who owed a large sum of money that he was unable to pay. Moved with compassion, his creditor forgave him and wrote off the debt. As soon as he left his Creditor, he met another guy who owed him a lesser amount of money and he refused to forgive. His former creditor heard what he had done, called him back and demanded that he paid up every cent he owed or spend the rest of his life in jail. Could it be that many of us are unable to get out of debt because we have refused to forgive people who owe us? Remember- it is God who gives power to get wealth and he gives it only to people who obey the commandment to love and forgive one another.

4. Love Sets Free. Loving people sets people free. Haters live in self-made prisons. For example, if you are bitter against someone, you want to do everything to avoid that person and avoiding people is hard work. If they are coming in one way, you want to take another way whether you like it or not. Does that sound like self-made prison? Yes, it does. Keeping a grudge keeps the grudge custodian in self-made prison. By prison, I mean any condition that restricts our freedom and makes life more difficult for us. Many people are in emotional prisons today because they choose to live with bitterness. No matter our justification for that bitterness or resentment, it still hurts the person carrying it. If you want to enjoy true freedom, learn to love people. Loving people set people free.

5. Love Attracts Love Gifts Every true gift is motivated by love. “For God so loved the world that he gave His Son…” Imagine a world without Jesus Christ. Many of the wonderful things that make life beautiful come as free gifts inspired by love; especially gifts that money cannot buy. Who can afford to buy oxygen and the lungs to suck it up? Who can buy happiness and acceptance? Who can buy genuine friendship and all the blessings that come with it? Without love there is no true gift and without gifts life becomes empty. Love is the inspiration behind giving and receiving. If you want to enjoy plenty, learn to love. You will not only give more but you will also receive more and your life will be full of love gifts.

6. Love Yields Good Returns On Investment Did you know that many of the love gestures and favours you and I enjoy today may quite be returns on the investment of love and kindness we or our parents showed to other people in the past? That is why we must not look away if we can help someone in need. There will be a time when you or your loved one will be in need; if you have not made any love investment you may not enjoy as much returns. “He who gives to the poor lends to the Lord and the Lord does repay “ Imagine God giving you returns on your love investment - huge dividends it will be. A person who loves secures God's favour. Believe that!

7. Love Is The Power Behind Faith. No one can accomplish much without faith but faith works only by love. The great Theologian Paul of Tarsus wanted to emphasize the superiority of love and he said “if I have faith to move mountains but have no love, it means nothing (1Cor13:8). Bible says let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works (Mat 5:14). Faith without work is dead and the works of faith are the good works motivated by love.

8. Love Makes You A Friend of God. I heard of a man who killed his wife and daughters because he felt they were dishonouring God. Do you mean to tell me that God kills everyone who dishonours him and the world's population still stands at over 7 billion today? Without knowing it, that man made himself an enemy of God because he is a murderer. Not many people will admit to being murderers but many will admit to being bitter against someone. Well, haters are murderers at heart and murderers don’t have the life of God in them (1 John3:15). Love covers multitude of sins (1 peter 4:8) but where there is no love, people commit all kinds of evil and violence against one another. Love makes you a friend of God because God is love personified. In the same way, bitterness (no matter the justification) expels a person from God’s presence because bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit. Without love you become an enemy of God.

9. Lovelessness Is An Invitation For Evil. Without love you indirectly invite Satan over. A person who walks in love carries the presence of God because God is love (1John 4:8) but where there is strife there is every kind of evil (James 3:16). That is why God said do not grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph 4:30) because if a person’s heart is not occupied by God, it will be occupied by Satan. It's that simple. I must emphasize here that if God says DO NOT do something you would do yourself a favour to run from it. Don't even think twice about it and don't attempt it. If you do, the price might be too costly. There is no better way to invite Satan into one's life than by harboring bitterness and hatred.

Allow me to quickly share a personal experience with you. I have always known this truth but there was a particular day I thought I must let a friend know that what he was doing was not good. My heart was filled with bitterness and I was determined to stay that way forever. Right there in the centre of my bitter mind, a scripture dropped. "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit" It was so strong that it felt like my heart was going to stop. I had to make a choice: continue to hold that bitterness even when I know it grieves the Holy Spirit or let go and please God. I didn't have too much time so I choose forgiveness. That moment it was as if a river broke up in my heart. Things changed and the breakthrough that followed that night was sweeter than anything I have known. Each time I look back and realize the power of that simple obedience I want to just love all my enemies. Why? -Because it benefits me more than them. If you hate them you hurt yourself.

Do we still need more reasons to love? Do we need any more proves that a loveless life attracts huge self-imposed fines? It's now your choice: Will you continue to be bitter or would you let go and inhale fresh air in the New Year? You still have about five days to unwind and release everyone who hurt you in 2011. Do yourself a favour, fall in love tonight! Enjoy a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

6 Good Reasons We Should Ask Questions

I heard this funny story of two Train Conductors and a passenger. A train had just pulled to a stop and some passengers were landing. Just as the Train was about moving again, a passenger realized he was already at his destination station. Wanting to get off as quickly as he could before the Train built momentum, he approached the Train Conductor who agreed to let him out of the Train. “As soon as I let you out”, the Conductor advised, “run in the direction of the Train or else you might fall”. With that plan, the Conductor let him out and the gentleman started running in the direction of the Train. Just then, another Conductor in the next car saw him running. Thinking the gentleman was running to catch up with the Train, he reached out, grabbed his hand and pulled him back into the Train. As you might expect, the gentleman was furious. He gave the conductor a kick and yelled –who told you I wanted to get into the Train? I just got off the train!

Why ask questions?
Here are some 5 good reasons (6 actually) that I found for asking questions. They are my lessons from some mistakes I made when I did not ask questions and good choices I made by asking [.......]

When Last Did Someone Correct You? (Part 2)

Thank you for allowing me to recommend a few everyday-life teachers to you. If you have not yet read  part 1 of this post, please check it out here for a good background.

Mrs. Disintegrating Families. There are numerous pieces of broken families in Mrs. D. Families' classroom for anyone to examine and learn from. Many families are broken because each member of the family had "I-don't-care" attitude(s). The husband, wife, father, mother and children were always right all the time. So everyone did their own thing and no one told anyone what to do. At first, they called it 'individual freedom' and 'personal space' until they realized that everyone cannot be right every time but it was too late. The family disintegrated and the members fell apart. Doesn't the rising number of disintegrating families teach us that you may be right most of the time but you can't be right all the time unless you are God? Doesn't it teach us that children who are left to themselves eventually become terrorists to their families, nation and world at large? While "having your own way" is not the only reason families fall apart, it is a major one. 

 
Mr. Greedy Potbellies. Whether the greed is for food, money, sex, power, position or fame, the lesson Mr. Greedy Potbellies teaches is the same -if you are greedy you will get busted. Many people have vomited their ill-gotten gains and they stand to teach anyone who is prone to greed that greed gets people busted.

When Last Did Someone Correct You? (Part 1)

I remember only few of my high school teachers but there is one that I will never forget. His name was Mr. Bob (not his real name). Mr. Bob was addicted to "correctness". I can hardly remember any student that got an 'Excellent' grade in his class. The best grade the best student got was "Ok" or "C" grade. If you missed as little as a "caps" at the beginning of a sentence or a "full stop" at the end, it was almost certain that you would do the whole work all over again. I thought he was cruel. I could not be any happier when it was all over and I don't think I miss him very much.

However, one truth stands out of my experience with Mr. Bob: While we do not need people to sit on our necks, pick our faults and tell us what we do wrong all the time, NOT having someone to correct us is far worse. I will explain with a story my mom often told to teach  her kids the importance of accepting correction. [.....]

Just Do It

I am a minister. One day I asked God a question: Father God, "how do I continue to tell people that you can do some thing for them when I know you have not done it for me?"  God said to me. "Son, when I give you a cookie for the person beside you, you don't hold it in one hand and stretch out the other hand asking where is my own. If you do what I ask you to do, I know how to take care of you". I responded quickly "I am sorry Sir, I get it". Sure enough the weeks that followed brought with them a new dimension of God's grace to me that I am still thankful for today.

This week's blog is my encouragement to those of us who are waiting on God for something special -spouse, child, job, good health, restoration, increase, debt freedom or whatever your heart desire may be. Be encouraged and continue to wait faithfully. But while you are waiting, remember that you do not have to be anxious, upset or idle. If God has given you a cookie for the person or persons beside you, obey first, give that cookie away. God is faithful to his promises and won't forget your labour of love.

Every believer is a minister. It's easy to be so absorbed with building a career, family, house, health, ministry, church and business that we forget the actual work God assigned to us. Thankfully however, God has clearly defined the right order of things in his word: First, God's kingdom, then our blessings. If we reverse the order we position ourselves to fall out of God's will. We can see this truth play out between Simon Peter and Jesus Christ in Luke 5:1-9

Are You Cool Like That? (revised)

Are you cool, calm and comfortable the way you are? Then don’t expect things to change. Yes, if you like things the way they are, you have permitted them to stay the way they are. Change begins with a desperation for change; a dissatisfaction with the status quo. This is true in business, family, social and spiritual life.

What you don't desire, you don't deserve. But true desire only comes from awareness of the difference between the way things are and the way they could be. Ask yourself, is this the best things can be? How can they be better? This will ignite your mind towards creative ways to break free.

No matter how successful you are or how far from success you may be, there is another level. All you are is all you have become but all you have become is not all there is to be. You may have tried and failed and tried and failed and now you just want to throw in the towel and quit trying. Be encouraged and keep moving; as long as you still have breathe, anything can happen. "It's not over until it's over", someone said

How desperate for change are you? What sacrifices are you making or willing to make for the change you want to see in your life? If you do not get up from here you will not get down there. You must arise to arrive.

Remember, no one makes progress in a state of rest. We make progress only in motion and the energy to be in motion is derived from intense desire to breakthrough. You will find it if you search for it with all your heart. True, you will come across dark spots, stumps and discouraging moments, don’t give up. Keep moving and keep re-fueling your desire by keeping the picture of your destination in mind.

If you can see it within, you will have the strength to pursue it. If you pursue it hard enough, you will eventually possess it. And don’t forget, the difference between a wish and a desire is active pursuit. Pursuit is the proof of desire. Arise from your rest and pursue that dream. You will succeed!

‘...Why should we sit here waiting to die” 2Kings 7:3 (New Living Translation)

For comment please contact me at everydaylifeblogging@gmail.com

How You Say It Matters

"Inside every man is a king and a lion. It is the one you speak to that will answer you" Anonymous

Let me begin with a true story of a couple who demonstrated the incredible power of words. His name was Nabal and her name was Abigail. Nabal was crude and mean. Abigail was sensible and beautiful. They were very wealthy and lived in the wilderness of Maon. One day, the King David sent a team of his men on errands and they needed Nabal's assistance. But Nabal was crude and mean even though the King's men had been very courteous to Nabal. "who does the king think he is anyway?” Nabal screamed at the king's men. When the King heard it, he wasted no time. He instructed 400 of his warrior to get their swords. Jumping on his horse, they started off, vowing to exterminate Nabal and all that he owned.

Meanwhile, news of the King's rage got to Abigail and she moved quickly. She instructed her servants to get some presents ready, mounted her horse and ran up to meet the king before he got to them. Using her good sense and soft speaking, Abigail appeased the king with his armed men and saved her and her family’s life. You can read the whole story in (1 Samuel 25). Had Nabal used words like Abigail did, there would not have been threats of war in the first place. While Nabal's words drew swords, Abigails words drew friendship. It is important to choose our words.

Feelings are volatile when in contact with unguided words, take precaution!

Words are extremely volatile substances and if not handled with caution could cause extensive damage to anything and everyone they fall upon. Words have removed people from prestigious positions and placed nobodies on the king’s thrones. The person who says “talk is cheap” has not taken inventory of the cost of improperly used words. I like to think of emotion like gasoline in a storage tank. Gasoline is useless unless it comes in contact with some form of ignition. If you draw gasoline from a storage tank and channel it through the appropriate system, it will move the engine to accomplish your objective. However, if you bring a fire to that same tank of gasoline, you could destroy not only the gasoline, but a whole city and the people in it. Emotion is to relationships what gasoline is to automobile. Emotion needs words to burn and move the relationship forward. However, if you expose human emotion to “naked words” you could destroy relationships, people and a whole city. Nothing stirs up emotion as easily as words and nothing destroys relationships faster than unguided words

Depending on who is using it and how it is used, words can bring peace and words can bring wars. Words bring blessing and curses. Words bring friends and enemies. Words bring love and hate. Words motivate and demoralize. Whether you get commotion or locomotion from the use of your words depends on how you use them to stir emotions of other people. Words, if not handled with caution could cause fire and expensive damages to anything and everyone they fall on. I have seen little things turn to big problems because of poor use of words. The Bible says soft answer turns away wrath but rash words bring fight. Proverbs (15:1). I have made some mistakes with the use of words and learned some lessons. I am still learning but I have observed two good qualities in people who use words wisely and I want to share them with you.

1. Be quick to listen. Did you know that most of what we say are responses to what others have said? That is why it's good to listen first. If we don't, our response will likely be wrong. I have made mistakes myself and responded to things that I later realized I did not understand at first. I will continue to improve my listening skills but here is one good quality I have observed in good listeners that help them respond to situations effectively: Good listeners listen quick. By 'quick' I mean smart, prompt and purposeful. A good listener will always:

a) Listen promptly.. The bible says a prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions, but the simple keeps going and suffers for it. What you choose to ignore may save your life. Paying attention to what is going on around us is not all about gossip but a smart listening skill to develop. If you do not understand what is going on, how can you choose whether to respond or to ignore?

b) Listen smart. You listen smart if you are able to hear in-between words. Meaning, you are able to pick what is not said out of the much or little that is said. This requires a quick assessment of the situation to understand motives and goals.

c) Listen empathically. You listen emphatically if you listen to understand a matter from another's perspective. Listening with prejudices or pre-determined responses often shut us out of the real thing. 

2. Be slow to speak. Just because you know what to say does not mean you should say it. Some things are better left unsaid or unwritten. This is especially important in the day of twitter, facebook or linked in. Have you noticed that there are more analysts than there are solution providers? Learning to speak less than you think you should is wisdom. Does this mean you should avoid speaking the truth? Not at all. There are some things that must be said even though it is known beforehand that they would ruffle feathers. However, it is smart to choose our words and to not speak hastily. 

This week, as you go about your life and business listen smart. Pay prompt attention to what you hear, listen on purpose and be slow to speak. Always remember that words can transport you to your desired destination if used in proper manner but they are also volatile and can destroy relationships if used in improper manner. You will succeed!

For comments or questions, please contact me at everydayblogging[at]gmail[dot]com

Rule-Of-Thumb for Interpersonal Relationships

In a world of drive thrus and fast foods, our definition of 'best' has improved from 'good quality' to include 'fast' 'easy' and 'convenient'. So, the other day as I was looking for a fast, easy and convenient formula for winning with people, I found this: "Do to others what you would like them do to you". It is not a new truth but its still the best.

Let's take a second look, are there really 'quick fixes' to interpersonal relationships? Besides, isn't one man meat another's  poison? How could we possibly treat everyone with one simple rule? 

Well, contrary to popular opinion, the "best" does not always have to be expensive and difficult-to get. The  best should be good quality, easy to get and affordable. When we define value soley by scarcity and price, we miss the point. Some of the most valuable things in life are not expensive in money sense. Seriously, if you are faced with a difficult interpersonal relationship issue at work or school, you are not going to need your text books even if you have degrees in sociology and psychology combined. What you need at such time is a simple, fast and reliable principle to resolve the issue. Having money to buy expensive gifts and luxurious vacations for the people in our lives would make no difference if we miss this simple rule-of-thumb for interpersonal relationships. 

Yes, I am aware of the debate over what constitutes ‘respect’ and how to relate with people across cultures and individual preferences. But I am also aware that regardless of how varied cultures and human preferences may be, we all have one thing in common- we are humans. Cultures may differ but people are the same. For example, no matter the culture or personal preference, everyone understands the meaning of a genuine smile, laughter or friendship. Whether, it is a one time genuine smile or a lifetime friendship one thing is common to all human- we want to be valued, celebrated, heard, forgiven and appreciated. There is no culture where these things are not understood. That is why Jesus Christ made it simple: "Do to others whatever you would like them do to you" (Matthew 7:12). 

So the simple rule for winning with people is putting yourself in their shoes and treating them as if you were treating yourself in that particular situation with your knowledge of basic human needs. You don't win with people by buying them expensive gifts although many would appreciate these. You win with people by getting into their hearts and that is by treating them as humans just like yourself. This rule is simple, fast, easy and convenient when you consider the trouble that come from trying to have things go our way all the time. This rule will work for the "easy-to-get-along with" as well as the "difficult-to-get-along with" people. It will work for the educated and the uneducated, black or white and men or woman. This rule is rooted in unconditional love.

Inside Out

Have you heard the story of the Triple A Barbers? It is the story of a group of barbers who decided to 'transform a lunatic with a smart hair cut' as a way to promote their business. These barbers went to the slum in the region and picked an unkempt substance addict, took several photos of him, gave him a nice haircut, and dressed him up in an expensive suit and a pair of fine shoes. Then they took a second round of photos showing his new looks. When they finished, they made large posters showing the gentleman's looks before and after the haircut and inscribed on it “TRANSFORMATION -see what the Triple A Barbers can do for you”. Then they placed these posters at strategic locations within the city.


One day, a wealthy businessman saw the poster and was interested. He went to the barbers' shop and inquired about the gentleman. One of the barbers and the businessman took the beautiful photograph and went to the slum where they met the ghetto guy the first time but could not find him. No one in the apartment building could identify the handsome gentleman in the photograph. Then the barber went back to the shop, picked the old photo and came back to the folks. “This is the guy I am talking about”, he said. Immediately, the ghetto guy's neighbours recognized him. Then they led the Barber and the businessman to a corner where they found the ghetto guy. He had returned to his habitual corner and resumed his old way of life.


True and Lasting Change Must Begin from Within


Just like the Triple A Barbers, many of us have attempted to change ourselves and our circumstances from the outside in. As most of us have found out again and again, true change can never happen from the outside in. True and lasting change come only from inside out. It is impossible for you or me to change our lives by changing our job, car, house, wardrobe, spouse, pet, toys, sex, looks, location or any external body attachment for that matter.


Ask those who have spent huge sum of money to change their physical surroundings in attempt to change their lives and they would tell you that such attempts are like the chasing of the winds that never yield positive results. Any change that does not come from within a person is fake and temporary.

What's In Your Closet?

A. The Stuff in Your Closet

No, I am not talking about those designer shoes and clothes in your house closet that you no longer use, although stuff life are equally important. Neither am I talking about your clean or cluttered table at work. Instead, I am talking about your personal internal affairs; those things that go on behind the scenes of your life and at the center of your mind.
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.I am talking about things that no one except you and God know about. Things that will make you ashamed if they were revealed with your name tag on them. Things from your past that you wish are better forgotten but which have refused to go away. Things about your future that create fear in your mind and make you feel hopeless. Things that make you lose confidence and feel inferior before your friends and colleagues.

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What about those layers of guilt and worries that hunt your soul in the middle of the night? Those tears that you wipe off as soon as you hear a knock on your door in order to hide the way you really feel. That battle of identity crises going on behind the mask of boldness and enthusiasm that you put on at social circles. That pain of resentment that is draining your emotion and making you sick. That prejudice, malice and bitterness that is bulging through the walls of your heart. These are the things I would like to call your attention to.

B. Nature of a Closet

The hidden nature of a closet makes it an easy dump site for junk and clutters. It is easy for us to project a no-stain personality on the outside and still have mess filling up every space on our inside. Most of us can neatly disguise any stress marks on our minds with a sweet smile on our face. Some of us can carry guns and machetes of resentment in our closets and still go to church while others can carry nails and hammers of vengeance in their closets and still go to work. Your closet is one area that outsiders may never get to see in your house but you don`t have to continue to keep negative stuff in it.
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C. What You Have In Your Closet Is What You Will Put On Before the World

Although we may be the only ones who know what we have in our closet, we cannot successfully hide them forever. The reason is simple: what you have in your closet is what you will put on before the world. What lies on the inside eventually reflect on the outside. Ever had someone tell you that you look stressed, worried or afraid when you thought you were putting on your best looks? It is easy for people to see through us and know what we are unsuccessfully trying to hide. They see our closet stuff in the virtues and vices that emanate from us like overcoats and body perfume. Each of us reflects our closets although we may not be aware of this fact.
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D. Open Up and Clean Up

Opening up your closet for cleaning is especially important because not only do the negative things we keep in our closets make us appear ugly to the world, they also rob us of joy, happiness and good health. A cluttered closet may cost us good performance and promotion at work or rob us of productivity and profit in business. A cluttered closet can make a difference between an À student and a drop-out student or a successful sportsperson and a bankrupt businessperson. Cluttered closets may deprive us of quality relationships because people treat us as we appear to them. It was John Maxwell who said “hurting people hurt people” and I agree. If you are upset inside, you will upset those around you. If you are angry inside you will irritate people around you. If you are frustrated inside you will frustrate the people in your life. Your internal affairs control your external affairs.

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E. What You Can Do

Many people have made attempts to clean up their closet but each time they do, it soon fills up with dirt again. You may have started the year with a good New Year resolution that didn’t work. You may have tried to be nice to people who are mean to you but this only made things worse. The reason, for this, I believe, is no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to keep our closets clean by ourselves. When it comes to matters of personal internal affairs, we need the help of a good home maker and this can only be God who created the closet in the first place.
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What you can do is open up to God for cleaning and don't be ashamed; he already knows what you may be trying to hide. Allow God to dress your wounds and don`t be afraid, he already knows the pains you are carrying within. God does powerful closet cleaning with his word. If the clutter is guilt, He can make you as clean and guiltless as if you have never sinned. If it is fear he can give you hope for tomorrow. Indeed, God is the only one who can forgive our transgressions, remove our garments of shame and cloth us with righteousness. He can make way where there seems to be no way. The good news is God is never overbooked. He is both willing and ready to clean anyone anytime.  .

Start today to fill your mind and soul with the word of God. It will replace bitter clutters with love, joy, patience, self control, goodness, kindness, hope, gentleness and faithfulness. Then you will you look good, smell good, make good friends and build good relationships. You will infuse joy to the people around you and add beauty and value to your world. You will become a better YOU!

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God's Word to You:
I, the LORD, invite you to come and talk it over. Your sins are scarlet red, but they will be whiter than snow or wool. (Isaiah 1:18)
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Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)
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Prayer
DEAR GOD, help me to take a good look at my closet and determine what to keep and what to throw away. I open up to you for cleansing, heal my wounds and wash away my sins. In Jesus name, Amen

What Are You Thinking?

A while ago, I watched the news video of a 3 year-old American girl who crawled into a vending machine and got stuck inside. The little girl was walking with her mother when she saw a toy inside the vending machine. She stopped and crawled inside the hole to pick up the toy. She got stuck inside until her mother came to rescue her.

Did I hear you ask 'what was her mother thinking'? Well, let's try to figure out what the 3-years-old was thinking. I guess her thought process looked like this: “Oh what a cute toy smiling at me right there"! The toy-thought progressed: “Why can’t I have that little toy? I want that toy”! She does a quick situation analysis and concludes: "I like that toy so much that I cannot let it go" Now, she has reached a decision point: “I am going to have that toy no matter what" She went inside the vending machine and got trapped inside, unfortunately.


The little girl's journey to the toy-vending machine began with a single toy-thought in her mind.


Just like that little girl, your daily “toy”-thought and my daily “toy”-thought whatever “toy” means to you and me, will lead us to our “toy” destination in life -good or bad. Every outcome begins with a thought and every thought has potential outcome. Our thoughts influence our decisions, our decisions influence our actions and our actions influence our outcomes.

You Don’t Need a CREDIT CARD...

Let's talk about money matters this week. Our focus is personal credit cards.

Credit Card is an old resident in our world. Born around 1890 in Europe, Credit Card came out of the need to reward loyal customers by some merchants and to pay for goods and services where cash or cheques were not readily available. Credit Card became popular in 1950 courtesy of Frank McNamara, founder of the Diners Club in the United States. The first Credit card was introduced in Canada in 1952 and the first all purpose Canada credit card came to market in 1968. Today, various businesses and retailers profit from the credit card business.

Unfortunately, the credit card story is not so sweet in the mouths of a great number of consumers. Credit card debt has shattered many lofty dreams of otherwise smart investors and submerged many promising families. There was an estimated 72 million credit cards in circulation in Canada in 2009. (Euromonitor International, January 2010) and a total outstanding credit card debt of $78 billion in September, up from 76 billion in September 2008, according to Equifax Canada. (Source Toronto Star, December 2009)

Do You Really Need A Credit Card?

Agreed, a credit card could be handy when you are far away from your local bank and you have to make a necessary purchase or when the product you want is far away and you have to order the product online or some other electronic means. Besides, there is a place for using other people’s money (OPM) for business projects that are beyond individual’s financial capability and many businesses run on return-after-sales financial plans.

However, the focus of this article is not business but personal financial management and the point I seek to make is that you don't have to spend what you have not earned. Or to put it another way, don’t spend it before you earn it. Credit Card gives you access to money you hope to earn in future. It is not free money; it is a loan and loans are meant to be paid back sooner or later. To use such money as one’s own money is a dysfunctional money management practice.

Isn't it sad that many of us have already spent what we hope to earn in the next 30 years and have no choice but to keep working for the next 30 years to pay back what we have already consumed? People who live perpetually on borrowed money cannot get out of debt. That statement may sound obvious but ironically a good number of people hope to be debt free someday but are not willing to stop living on loans. The old Jewish Proverbs is still true today: "A borrower is a servant to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). With due respect, you are a slave to your lender if you live on credit cards. The only way to set yourself free from your slave master’s grip is to give yourself an asset card and start building on it now!

If you are one of those who signed up for credit cards just because you were told you need a good credit history, the reasonable question you should ask is why you need a credit history? Contrary to popular opinions, you don’t need a credit history (good or bad) for anything other than to qualify for more debt in future. People who live debt-free do not worry about history of debt payment. Instead of worrying about credit history management, why not start thinking of asset management strategies? Or would you allow anyone to fool you into thinking that you have to have millions in assets before you need asset management plans? If you cannot manage a dime you certainly cannot manage a million.

In case you are wondering what the bible says about debt, know that it is God’s will for believers to live debt-free. God tells us to owe nothing to anyone except to love them (Romans 13:8). Owe nothing means owe nothing. To live perpetually in debt even when we can avoid it is to disregard God’s instruction for successful living and shut out our divine supplies. If you are willing and obedient God will give you power, not only to live debt free, but to create wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18)


A Fresh Approach: Get Asset Card

One of the best decisions you will ever make about your money as a young person is to give yourself an Asset Card; a portfolio that includes your net worth after all your liabilities. While a Credit card gives you power to spend what you hope to earn in future, an Asset Card gives you power to enjoy what you have already earned. Unlike credit card, you don't need anyone's approval to get asset card. It is what you give to yourself as no financial institution will issue you one.With Asset Card you own all you enjoy and enjoy all you own but with credit cards you owe all you enjoy and cannot truly enjoy what you owe.

It is important to note that building yourself an asset card is not easy but it's worth the effort. Our difficulty with building asset cards lies in the fact that most of us are not taught money management skills at school. However, each of us is responsible for our own financial freedom. As Ken Keyes Jr. puts it, "We are not responsible for the programming we picked up as children but as adults we are 100% responsible for fixing them". Building your asset requires correcting the wrong things you learned about money while growing up.

Steps to Building Your Asset Card

Delay your enjoyment.

Many of us are familiar with the sales’ clichés: “buy now, pay later” or “Don’t Pay for 36 months” etc. The unspoken truth is sooner or later you will pay what you owe. It’s either you pay now and play later or you play now and pay later. Paying now to play later is better. Delaying enjoyment is a key to getting out of debt.

If you continue to purchase everything you ‘feel like having’ you will eventually find yourself at odd hours doing odd jobs that you don’t feel like doing. I like Stephen Wright's quote “you can't have everything where would you put it?” To want to own everything one sees and likes is to write one’s own debt warrant and live in a junk yard. Just because you like it and can afford it does not mean you should have it.

There are probably more wastes in the average home today than there are essential goods. Any household good that is not essential for existence is a luxury and many luxury goods fall into the class of wastes no matter how fanciful they may look. One of the most important things you as a purchaser will ever know about things on sale is that no business is established to make its customers rich unless of course the business its non-profit oriented. Just because something is on sale does not mean you need it. Refuse to buy anything on sale especially if you don't need it and you can't afford it.

2. Decrease your outgo.

Many people in debt think they need more income to be debt-free. Well, the first step toward financial freedom is not necessarily increasing your income but decreasing your outgo. When your income is less than your outgo you amass debt. When income is equal to your outgo you maintain status quo and live from pay cheque to pay cheque but when your income is greater than your outgo or your outgo is less than your income, you amass more wealth no matter how much you earn.

Did you know that you would be richer in six months than you are today even if you don’t earn a dime more than you currently earn just by consistently spending a dime less than you currently spend?

You can start spending a dime less today by paying a dime less on credit card loan interests. Interest on borrowed money is one of the major outgo outlets for most people in debt. If you ever wondered why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, this is it. While the rich continue to earn interests on their invested money, the poor continue to pay interest on their borrowed money. Refuse to buy on impulse, refuse to get more credit cards and start decreasing your outgo. If you take these steps, you would soon get out of debt and start building wealth for yourself, your family and your world. You will succeed!

You can reach me at everydaylifeblogging[at]gmail[dot]com

Before You Say "I Do"

This week, I write with two people in mind: those contemplating marriage and those contemplating divorce.

One day, I was driving on a major highway in Vancouver area when I missed my exit. Wanting to get back on track, I turned off at the next exit. I was wrong and this exit was long. After a good stretch, it merged onto a one-way that closed off at a construction site with an exit-only at the dead end. Ouch! Not a pleasant experience when time is of essence. Well, since I had only one choice, I took the exit-only and kept moving. When I stopped to re-calculate my route, I was farther away from my destination than I was when I turned off the 'wrong route' the first time. 

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Today, as I look back and relate that highway incidence to the journey of marriage, I wonder how many divorced people are in pain right now because they took the wrong exit. I wonder how many married people are traveling the wrong routes or turning off at the nearest exit. I sincerely wonder how many single persons are contemplating embarking on this important journey without stopping to think about what they are really doing.

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Marriage, from God's perspective, is intended to be a one-way drive to a beautiful destination. On this highway, there are fast lanes and rest points but there are no U-Turns and certainly no good exit points. In today's culture, however, it seems the number of Christians putting the destination aside and opting for the first available exit as soon as their marriage hit bumps is on the rise. If we are true believers, then we have no doubt that God knows the way better than we do. God sees marriage as a covenant between a man, woman and himself. The marriage covenant, like all other covenants, are binding and long term in nature. 
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Did you know that it is impossible for once-married adults to truly separate from one another? They may be physically apart but they will be emotionally tied together, forever. Once you enter a marriage relationship it is for life. So, before you set out, you should prepare yourself or you might have regrets. 
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Every time two people who once loved themselves decide to go separate ways, the pain of regret, setbacks and side effects on innocent loved ones  is just too high a price to pay for whatever reason. Yes, you may find a couple emergency exits on the marriage road but they usually wind up at dead ends. God forewarned us to avoid those exits when he told us in Malachi 2:16 that He hates divorce. 

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If you are contemplating marriage, please think before you say "I do"

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I am married. So, I am aware that when you meet someone who sweeps you off your feet and you fall head over heels in love with one another, the feeling can be ecstatic and before you know it, you are on a roller-coaster love ride to the alter. No, before you say "I do" you really need to think and sincerely ask God. Never let your judgement be clouded by the tantalizing feelings of beautiful dates, engagement promises and the fanfares of a wedding ceremony. 
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Please do not allow the joy of being selected, freedom from overbearing parents or thoughts of leaving the single lifestyle behind be so alluring that you fail to ask God. Marriage is beautiful but marriage can also be tough.. You will hit the bumps, you will come to crossroads and depending on your situation you may conclude that you are on the wrong track and want out. Before you get yourself into a loop of regrets, save yourself the stress by seeking counsel before you say I do.

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Steps you can take right now

·        Talk everything over with your partner and refuse to sweep anything under the carpet.  This is one mistake many young adults make. It’s easy to glide over unwanted behaviours and red flags when you are love drunk but don’t get drunk too quickly. Talk about everything. If you cannot resolve the issues at this point, its’ usually best to go separate ways. A failed engagement will always be better than a failed marriage. I know people who remain good family friends after a failed engagement but I don't know any couple that maintains great friendship with each other after they broke up. 

Hidden fears that rob us of peace and ruin our confidence

This week, we will focus on emotional and spiritual health. I will start with my sermon of July 17, 2011 as it relates to peace of mind and confidence. I am posting it as one piece. Enjoy!

What if I lose my job? What if the bank forecloses on my house? What if my neighbour is a criminal? What if I get scammed? What if I have a terminal disease? What if I don't get someone to marry me? What if my marriage fails? What if my in-laws don't accept me? What if they hurt me? What if my children don't make it? What if I don't get the job? What if I end up a failure in life? What if..? What if...? The list of people and things that scare us seems to be growing steadily. We seem to be losing peace of mind and confidence in everything and everyone everyday. How did many of us become so crippled by fear with little or no confidence left? The answer I found is BROKEN TRUST!

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Life is all about relationships and every relationship is built and sustained by TRUST. When trust is broken, it is not just the relationship that suffers but also the people involved and everything around them. This is what I mean:

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One day I watched a father teach his young son a lesson on trust. The father told his son to climb up a relatively high brick wall. When the young boy did, he instructed him to jump from the height; that he would catch him and not let him fall. Trusting his father, the boy jumped and as soon as he did, his dad moved away and let the little boy hit the ground. With tears in his eyes he cried: Dad Why did you do that to me? His dad said 'just to teach you a very important lesson: "TRUST NO ONE INCLUDING ME". Although it was only a scene in a movie years ago, each time I remember the scene I still shudder because I know it happens people all the time.
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Many of us have been directly or indirectly taught a lesson on TRUST like that little boy by people  close to us. Family members have taken advantage of us and best friends have betrayed us again and again. After many of such disappointments, deceptions and betrayals, we have become failure prone and rigidly resolved to never trust anyone, ANYONE, including God!
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Truth is, when we settle for a life of 'TRUST NO ONE', we do ourselves more harm than good. We start living in fear and losing peace of mind. The 'what if' questions rush in like a flood and we find ourselves always expecting things to go wrong and expecting people to disappoint us even when those people have great intentions. Usually, things turn out the way we expect.
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Allow me to share a very valuable lesson on TRUST with you. I believe it will help you rebuild your broken trust and regain your lost peace and confidence if you are affected. .
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Lack of trust is not a smart-self protection solution but a type of disorder called fear This disorder usually manifests itself as:
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Paralysis of the mind: Nothing paralyzes the mind like fear. Whether it is fear of disappointment, fear of failure, fear of deception, the effect is the same: paralyzed mind. Fear overworks your mind and kills your creativity. Fear makes fool of a genius and cripple a giant. I have seen intelligent people fail job interviews because they were too nervous. Unfortunately, we have coined fancy words to describe fear such as nervousness and scary. "I am so nervous right now" or "That scares me to death" Please do not accept this as a normal state of the mind. When God created us he did not give us the spirit of fear but of love and sound mind. If you are always nervous, scared or suspicious, you need to take steps to deal with the root of the problem: broken trust.

You Don't Have To EARN A Living

Thank you for taking time to read this article. This week, my focus is work and life. I trust you have enjoyed your work and life this beautiful week. If you haven't, there's no need to worry, God does restore lost times. As a follow up on my last article on Monday fevers, I want to share with you some insights on how to quit toiling to earn a living and start living on the resting side of life. My purpose is to address some common life's dysfunctions that stop us from receiving the best God has for us. 

One of life's commonest dysfunctions is hard-work mentality. People with this mentality believe they have to earn their living and work hard at doing so. To them you are lazy if you are not busy round the clock. As managers, people with hard-work mentality are more likely to be the controlling type of bosses who look over everybody’s shoulders in the workplace to see if they are busy or idle. By so doing, they put out the fire of creativity from the team, not knowing. People with hard-work mentality attempt to rationalize everything and dismiss anything that is not logical. They believe that the harder you work the more successful you will become; they function in circles of routine work and often get stock in the prison of tradition. As Christians, people with hard work mentality are likely to be focused more on laws and wrath of God than on grace and love of God. 

Are you working hard to earn a living? Are you working hard to earn God's favour? Are you studying hard to earn a degree and land a job? Do you find yourself attempting to rationalize everything and dismiss anything that reason cannot explain? If yes, you may already be caught in the web of toils and it is nothing but a futile chase after the winds. Set yourself free today. Start trusting God for your daily supplies. God, not hard work, your employer or government is your source. If you believe in the saving grace of Jesus Christ and you are about promoting his kingdom, you are a candidate for divine supplies. Jesus has finished all the work required to meet our needs; he has made us the very righteousness of God. No one can work hard enough to earn God’s love or earn a living but anybody can trust God and enjoy a good life. The Psalmist knew this so well when he wrote:  

  It is useless for you to work so hard

      from early morning until late at night,
  anxiously working for food to eat;
      for God gives rest to his loved ones. Psalm 126:2 (NLT)

The first step towards correcting the hard-work mentality is realizing that you do not have to earn a living. To do so will take a life time and you could still end up poor. A study of successful people shows that the hardest workers are not always the richest and many poor people are very hard working. Alternative way to earning a living is receiving divine supplies. It is better and much easier to receive your supplies than to earn them. This is one of the most liberating lessons I have learned in my walk with God. One idea from God can end a long-term struggle, instantly. It happened to a fisherman named Simon. 

One day as Jesus was preaching on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the word of God. He noticed two empty boats at the water’s edge, for the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. Stepping into one of the boats, Jesus asked Simon, its owner, to push it out into the water. So he sat in the boat and taught the crowds from there.

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Now go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish. “Master,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.” And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear! A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge of sinking. Luke 5:1-7 (NLT)

Simon had toiled all night trying to catch fish but could not. As soon as Jesus showed up and gave him an idea, his all-night struggle ended in a moment. I am sure Simon was not a day-old fisherman. He must have known all the tricks of fishing business yet he did not make progress by working hard but by receiving an idea from Jesus. He trusted Jesus, acted on his word and got a big catch.

You don't have to earn a living. Why toil to earn what you can receive free of charge? For example, if you need a bike that costs $300.00, you would be making a mistake if you start to look for $300.00 because what you really need is not the $300.00 but the bike and it is possible for someone to bless you with a bike free of charge. So, I encourage you to quit toiling and start trusting God to meet your daily needs. Does this mean you have to quit your job and fold your hands? Of course not. It means you have to quit trusting your own knowledge, skill and ability to meet your needs and learn to trust God to bless the work of your hands. There is a difference between hard work and diligence. Hard work take so much effort from people and give them little or no results but diligent people have great results to show for their efforts. People with hard work mentality rely on their own abilities but diligent people trust God. Whether it is academics, family, finance, relationship or salvation, the rule is the same: don't toil, trust God. The blessing of God makes a person rich and he adds no sorrow with it. What’s more, “your heavenly father already knows that you need 'these things” and he promised to add all of them to you once you make his kingdom your priority (Matthew 6:25-34). We are not supposed to run after things; things are supposed to run after us because we run after the kingdom of God.

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GUSH, It’s Monday Again!

YES, it was a ‘LoNg weekend’ but I did not feel like waking up to go to work this morning. Who looks forward to Monday, anyway? I doubt if anyone does; certainly not if you work in my kind of office with my kind of supervisor and colleagues. Seriously, they freak me out all the time and make me hate work, really hate work. To think that I earn way less than my friends who work at “myrichfriends.com” just across the Province does not help matters. I sometimes wonder if my work or work in general is punishment. Why do we have to work anyway? If only I do not have to pay my bills. It’s only 8:30am on Monday morning and I am already looking forward to Friday at 4.

Are you like the ‘me’ I described above? Do you cringe at the thought of resuming unpleasant work with your coworkers after each weekend? Do you see work as punishment or necessary evil? Are you one of those who sing TGIF - Thank God It’s Friday and tempted to call in sick most Monday mornings? Great if you are not one of them but truth is many of us didn’t want the just passed ‘long weekend’ to be over so soon. After all, who does not like a little extra rest on a weekend? But if you happen to be in this group of what I would respectfully call ‘work-slaves’, I encourage you set yourself free and become a better you, starting this week. This may be a tough nut for you to crack but there is a way and you are better off starting to find it now. 

In reality I have been through some of those Monday moments described above and looking back from where I am now, I know it’s not fun and I feel compelled to write a note of encouragement to those who might still be suffering from the Monday fever. 

Here is how I got my freedom from work stress: I found my place and occupied it. Certainly, I have not arrived but I am not where I used to be. Looking back from where I am today, my perspective of work has changed and the feeling is different. Work is now fun and working long hours is norm. I can tell you from experience that you are healthier, happier and stronger if you enjoy your work. It’s about 1:30 in the morning as I write this article after a busy Sunday and I am not tasked. My call is to add value to people by inspiring them to overcome life’s dysfunctions and be the best God created them to be. When you are in your place, work is not something you dread or run away from but something you look towards. You do not keep your eyes on the clock or look forward to long weekends and statutory holidays just as reliefs from work. Instead, work will become pleasure and everything and everyone you love will be part of what you do and your creative ability will come to light.

Yes, work can be a pain if you are just working to pay bills. What punishment could be greater than doing everyday what you hate to do at all? There are many work-slaves in the labour market today, don’t be one of them. So, here are a few suggestions that you might find helpful:

Discover what you were created to do and start doing it

Everyone is created to complete a unique assignment in life and work is fun only when you know what that assignment is and you are doing it. The acid test for discovering your calling is God’s Word. No one knows more about the purpose of a product than the creator of that product. Study the Word and ask God in prayer to guide you to your assignment. Usually it would be an area where you get the most inspiration from God. God-ordained assignments are the easiest and most pleasurable to carry out. After identifying something that looks like what you want to spend your life on, and connecting with like-minds, ask yourself this fundamental question: “if money was not an issue, will I be doing this type of work? If your answer is no, you are probably doing the wrong thing.

The moment you know what your assignment is, start by connecting with people who are doing similar things. You will save time and stress by standing on their shoulders to see further. There is no need to re-invent the will; smart people improve on the work of previous generations. However, be careful not to hop into the first bus that looks like your interests. Interests are not the same as callings. For example, I am interested in dancing but I am not called to dance. If I join a dancing group today as a profession, it will be an unpleasant work for me. Stay where you find inspiration.

Start your own business and partner with like-minds

In some cases you may not find existing business that is a good match for your calling but you can start your own business -depending of course on your personality, skill set and nature of business. You may experience teething challenges at the beginning but once your business is up and running, you will be having so much fun that you won’t know how time flies. Where starting your own business is impractical for whatever reason, consider partnering with others. Even if you can do everything on your own it usually helps to partner with people of like-minds. Some business types operate even better when managed by a team of complementary individuals rather than a sole expert. Do not think of the capital to start with, think of the results your work will bring to your world and the smiles you would put on faces just by saying yes to your calling. The energy and peace that come from such approach will force the capital you need to come your way. Don’t we have enough evidence to show that people like to support noble courses?

Trust God to take care of you and avoid competition

     Did you know that it takes a lifetime to earn a living but a moment to receive favour from God? While toil when you can trust God? Learn to trust God to take care of you. You don’t have to earn your living to enjoy life; you just need to be at the right place doing the right thing. Your faithful God will ensure your needs are met. The wealthiest people are among those who do what they are ‘called to do’ rather than those who do what they ‘have to do’. When you start doing what God created you to do, he will take care of you but realize that you are on a mission and not in a competition. Even among those who have found their calling are some who have turned themselves into copy cats and competitors. Forget about trying to beat others, instead, focus on fulfilling your mission. Whatever God has assigned to you is unique to you. Even if many other people are doing similar things, they cannot do the same thing unless you give up your calling and abandon your post.
     
      Find your place, take your position, team up with like minds, trust God and you will be able to confidently say goodbye to “Gush, It’s Monday, Again” or TGIF –Thank God it’s Friday as a relief.  You will be able to say: TGIM- Thank God it’s Monday, TGIT –Thank God Its Tuesday, TGIW –Thank God It’s Wednesday, TGIT –Thank God It’s Thursdays, TGIF –Thank God It’s Friday, TGIS –Thank God It’s Saturday and TGIS- Thank God It’s Sunday!

      Enjoy your week! Enjoy your work! Become a better you!

¹¹He who tills his land shall be satisfied with bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits is lacking in sense and is without understanding.

Proverbs 12:11.

For comments or questions, please contact me at pokaka@solidrockchurchcanada.com