In a world of drive thrus and fast foods, our definition of 'best' has improved from 'good quality' to include 'fast' 'easy' and 'convenient'. So, the other day as I was looking for a fast, easy and convenient formula for winning with people, I found this: "Do to others what you would like them do to you". It is not a new truth but its still the best.
Let's take a second look, are there really 'quick fixes' to interpersonal relationships? Besides, isn't one man meat another's poison? How could we possibly treat everyone with one simple rule?
Well, contrary to popular opinion, the "best" does not always have to be expensive and difficult-to get. The best should be good quality, easy to get and affordable. When we define value soley by scarcity and price, we miss the point. Some of the most valuable things in life are not expensive in money sense. Seriously, if you are faced with a difficult interpersonal relationship issue at work or school, you are not going to need your text books even if you have degrees in sociology and psychology combined. What you need at such time is a simple, fast and reliable principle to resolve the issue. Having money to buy expensive gifts and luxurious vacations for the people in our lives would make no difference if we miss this simple rule-of-thumb for interpersonal relationships.
Yes, I am aware of the debate over what constitutes ‘respect’ and how to relate with people across cultures and individual preferences. But I am also aware that regardless of how varied cultures and human preferences may be, we all have one thing in common- we are humans. Cultures may differ but people are the same. For example, no matter the culture or personal preference, everyone understands the meaning of a genuine smile, laughter or friendship. Whether, it is a one time genuine smile or a lifetime friendship one thing is common to all human- we want to be valued, celebrated, heard, forgiven and appreciated. There is no culture where these things are not understood. That is why Jesus Christ made it simple: "Do to others whatever you would like them do to you" (Matthew 7:12).
So the simple rule for winning with people is putting yourself in their shoes and treating them as if you were treating yourself in that particular situation with your knowledge of basic human needs. You don't win with people by buying them expensive gifts although many would appreciate these. You win with people by getting into their hearts and that is by treating them as humans just like yourself. This rule is simple, fast, easy and convenient when you consider the trouble that come from trying to have things go our way all the time. This rule will work for the "easy-to-get-along with" as well as the "difficult-to-get-along with" people. It will work for the educated and the uneducated, black or white and men or woman. This rule is rooted in unconditional love.
Although called different things by different people, love is the hub of all relationships, not money, beauty, fame, position however valued these may be. If we love our neighbour as ourselves, if we treat people like humans just like we are, we will always win together.
The simplicity of this rule-of thumb should not make us overlook its importance. Love is not a little virtue as many of us have been told; love is the greatest virtue. Love is not weak; love is strong. Love is not like icing on the cake; love is the cake. If we really want the best in your relationships the key is unconditional love. Love heals wounds, builds homes, stabilizes businesses, lifts hearts, resolves conflicts, and best of all blesses the carrier. Whether we sell all that we have to feed the hungry and give the rest to charity or we buy the most expensive house, car or toy for our loved ones, will all amount to nothing in the end if we did not love people. Without genuine care for people:
- Teamwork becomes a destructive organizational politics
- Emotional intelligence becomes manipulation and hypnotherapy for workplace victims
- The most expensive gift appear meaningless
- The most beautiful person appear ugly
- Every word is an offence
- Marketers and sales persons are only stealing from buyers by tricks
- Politicians become rulers and dictators who victimize innocent citizens
- Families crumble
- Businesses fail
- Relationships fail and friends become enemies
- Preachers become manipulators
- Dreams become evil obsession
- Goodwill becomes self parade and people are written off as obnoxious and
- God takes no account of any act of kindness, faith or service to humanity
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
(1 Corinthians 13:1-7-The Message)
As you go about your business this week, remember the basic human needs of love which covers acceptance, forgiveness and appreciation. If we treat people like humans they will treat us like humans and our relationships will grow better.
Enjoy your week
You can reach me at everydaylifeblogging@gmail.com
