This week, I write with two people in mind: those contemplating marriage and those contemplating divorce.
One day, I was driving on a major highway in Vancouver area when I missed my exit. Wanting to get back on track, I turned off at the next exit. I was wrong and this exit was long. After a good stretch, it merged onto a one-way that closed off at a construction site with an exit-only at the dead end. Ouch! Not a pleasant experience when time is of essence. Well, since I had only one choice, I took the exit-only and kept moving. When I stopped to re-calculate my route, I was farther away from my destination than I was when I turned off the 'wrong route' the first time.
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Today, as I look back and relate that highway incidence to the journey of marriage, I wonder how many divorced people are in pain right now because they took the wrong exit. I wonder how many married people are traveling the wrong routes or turning off at the nearest exit. I sincerely wonder how many single persons are contemplating embarking on this important journey without stopping to think about what they are really doing.
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Marriage, from God's perspective, is intended to be a one-way drive to a beautiful destination. On this highway, there are fast lanes and rest points but there are no U-Turns and certainly no good exit points. In today's culture, however, it seems the number of Christians putting the destination aside and opting for the first available exit as soon as their marriage hit bumps is on the rise. If we are true believers, then we have no doubt that God knows the way better than we do. God sees marriage as a covenant between a man, woman and himself. The marriage covenant, like all other covenants, are binding and long term in nature.
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Did you know that it is impossible for once-married adults to truly separate from one another? They may be physically apart but they will be emotionally tied together, forever. Once you enter a marriage relationship it is for life. So, before you set out, you should prepare yourself or you might have regrets.
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Every time two people who once loved themselves decide to go separate ways, the pain of regret, setbacks and side effects on innocent loved ones is just too high a price to pay for whatever reason. Yes, you may find a couple emergency exits on the marriage road but they usually wind up at dead ends. God forewarned us to avoid those exits when he told us in Malachi 2:16 that He hates divorce.
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Did you know that it is impossible for once-married adults to truly separate from one another? They may be physically apart but they will be emotionally tied together, forever. Once you enter a marriage relationship it is for life. So, before you set out, you should prepare yourself or you might have regrets.
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Every time two people who once loved themselves decide to go separate ways, the pain of regret, setbacks and side effects on innocent loved ones is just too high a price to pay for whatever reason. Yes, you may find a couple emergency exits on the marriage road but they usually wind up at dead ends. God forewarned us to avoid those exits when he told us in Malachi 2:16 that He hates divorce.
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If you are contemplating marriage, please think before you say "I do".
I am married. So, I am aware that when you meet someone who sweeps you off your feet and you fall head over heels in love with one another, the feeling can be ecstatic and before you know it, you are on a roller-coaster love ride to the alter. No, before you say "I do" you really need to think and sincerely ask God. Never let your judgement be clouded by the tantalizing feelings of beautiful dates, engagement promises and the fanfares of a wedding ceremony.
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Please do not allow the joy of being selected, freedom from overbearing parents or thoughts of leaving the single lifestyle behind be so alluring that you fail to ask God. Marriage is beautiful but marriage can also be tough.. You will hit the bumps, you will come to crossroads and depending on your situation you may conclude that you are on the wrong track and want out. Before you get yourself into a loop of regrets, save yourself the stress by seeking counsel before you say I do.
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Please do not allow the joy of being selected, freedom from overbearing parents or thoughts of leaving the single lifestyle behind be so alluring that you fail to ask God. Marriage is beautiful but marriage can also be tough.. You will hit the bumps, you will come to crossroads and depending on your situation you may conclude that you are on the wrong track and want out. Before you get yourself into a loop of regrets, save yourself the stress by seeking counsel before you say I do.
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Steps you can take right now
· Talk everything over with your partner and refuse to sweep anything under the carpet. This is one mistake many young adults make. It’s easy to glide over unwanted behaviours and red flags when you are love drunk but don’t get drunk too quickly. Talk about everything. If you cannot resolve the issues at this point, its’ usually best to go separate ways. A failed engagement will always be better than a failed marriage. I know people who remain good family friends after a failed engagement but I don't know any couple that maintains great friendship with each other after they broke up.
