rECenTLy, a friend commented on a facebook page that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice. That comment, as you might expect, ruffled some feathers because some of us believe we have no power to change our nature whereas some of us believe we are responsible for our lifestyle choices including sexual preferences. This is my take on the matter with no intention to judge anyone.
In my opinion, human sexual behaviour is a result of complex influences: genetic make up, childhood programing, peer pressure, family orientation, associations, geography, education, economy and, of course, spirituality! These influences do not leave large rooms for choices I must say but thankfully we are not eternal slaves to them either, and that's a good thing! Seriously, wouldn’t life be totally miserable if we just lived as slaves to programming, feelings and tendencies? Imagine how life would be like if everybody did ‘EVERYTHING’ they are inclined to doing! Isn’t that why there is law and order, decorum and values to guide us? As adults we have all said no to some feelings/inclinations (sexual or not) either because we knew we were not ready for the responsibilities or consequences that follow or because we had more important stakes ahead. We would not encourage a nine year old girl- for example -have sexual relations with her ‘boyfriend’ just because her sex hormones signalled her brains that it is natural to do so. Likewise, we would consider it absurd for a human male or female to have sexual relations with a dog, cow or corpse even if such desires may come naturally to some people. So, we have common grounds for behavioural choices.
Obviously, we don't do everything we feel like doing. We do things based on our set of beliefs and we chose to believe what we believe. I believe human beings have the rights and abilities to either follow or suppress their feelings /inclinations in all matters of life including sexual preferences. We can say no or yes to any form of sexual feelings/inclinations even though these feelings come to us naturally. If this were not the case, the law would not require us to make certain sex-related decisions only when we are 18 or older as these choices come with responsibilities and consequences.
The life we end up with then, is primarily a product of choices based on our values and internal powers rather than programming of any sort. Besides, each of us has it in us to keep a particular mental program or re-write it no matter how helpless we may feel. Ken Keyes Jr. said it right “You are not responsible for the programming you picked up in childhood. However, as an adult, you are one hundred percent responsible for fixing it”.
It may not be our fault or choice that we are programmed to behave the way we do however, as adults it would be our fault or choice to either end up that way or create a better life. When you think about it, each of us behave the way we do not necessarily because we are naturally inclined to behaving in such ways but because it is easier for us to take the path of least resistance than to confront opposing or compelling influences. Yes, it is easier to follow our feelings than to take responsibility over our impulses whether these impulses are natural or artificial. But truth is, people can change their behaviours if they really want to. Otherwise, why would our behaviour change significantly when we are terrified? Everyone switches to a survival mode when frightened and our survival instincts quickly modify our behaviours in attempt to overpower the invading influence. All human beings are created with this special inherent ability to adapt, adjust or control our environments and circumstances.
By now you probably know what my conclusion is: homosexuality is a sexual preference based on the individual’s set of values and internal powers. This internal power and set of values shape our lifestyle. Stephen Covey, in his book “The 7 habits of highly effective people” said. “You can say no and smile only when there is a bigger yes burning inside”. The key to making a great lifestyle choice is having great internal powers to say yes or no. This internal power has a measure of willpower but unfortunately, willpower alone cannot take us too far. That is where spirituality comes in. When some weird internal influences compel us from within and without to do things we don't want to do or worse -things we hate to do- what we need is not just willpower but spiritual power! This kind of spiritual power comes from having internal system re-orientation -a mind transplant literarily. That is what a relationship with Jesus Christ does for us. I would leave that matter for separate discussion!
Thank you for your time!
