Just Do It

I am a minister. One day I asked God a question: Father God, "how do I continue to tell people that you can do some thing for them when I know you have not done it for me?"  God said to me. "Son, when I give you a cookie for the person beside you, you don't hold it in one hand and stretch out the other hand asking where is my own. If you do what I ask you to do, I know how to take care of you". I responded quickly "I am sorry Sir, I get it". Sure enough the weeks that followed brought with them a new dimension of God's grace to me that I am still thankful for today.

This week's blog is my encouragement to those of us who are waiting on God for something special -spouse, child, job, good health, restoration, increase, debt freedom or whatever your heart desire may be. Be encouraged and continue to wait faithfully. But while you are waiting, remember that you do not have to be anxious, upset or idle. If God has given you a cookie for the person or persons beside you, obey first, give that cookie away. God is faithful to his promises and won't forget your labour of love.

Every believer is a minister. It's easy to be so absorbed with building a career, family, house, health, ministry, church and business that we forget the actual work God assigned to us. Thankfully however, God has clearly defined the right order of things in his word: First, God's kingdom, then our blessings. If we reverse the order we position ourselves to fall out of God's will. We can see this truth play out between Simon Peter and Jesus Christ in Luke 5:1-9

Are You Cool Like That? (revised)

Are you cool, calm and comfortable the way you are? Then don’t expect things to change. Yes, if you like things the way they are, you have permitted them to stay the way they are. Change begins with a desperation for change; a dissatisfaction with the status quo. This is true in business, family, social and spiritual life.

What you don't desire, you don't deserve. But true desire only comes from awareness of the difference between the way things are and the way they could be. Ask yourself, is this the best things can be? How can they be better? This will ignite your mind towards creative ways to break free.

No matter how successful you are or how far from success you may be, there is another level. All you are is all you have become but all you have become is not all there is to be. You may have tried and failed and tried and failed and now you just want to throw in the towel and quit trying. Be encouraged and keep moving; as long as you still have breathe, anything can happen. "It's not over until it's over", someone said

How desperate for change are you? What sacrifices are you making or willing to make for the change you want to see in your life? If you do not get up from here you will not get down there. You must arise to arrive.

Remember, no one makes progress in a state of rest. We make progress only in motion and the energy to be in motion is derived from intense desire to breakthrough. You will find it if you search for it with all your heart. True, you will come across dark spots, stumps and discouraging moments, don’t give up. Keep moving and keep re-fueling your desire by keeping the picture of your destination in mind.

If you can see it within, you will have the strength to pursue it. If you pursue it hard enough, you will eventually possess it. And don’t forget, the difference between a wish and a desire is active pursuit. Pursuit is the proof of desire. Arise from your rest and pursue that dream. You will succeed!

‘...Why should we sit here waiting to die” 2Kings 7:3 (New Living Translation)

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How You Say It Matters

"Inside every man is a king and a lion. It is the one you speak to that will answer you" Anonymous

Let me begin with a true story of a couple who demonstrated the incredible power of words. His name was Nabal and her name was Abigail. Nabal was crude and mean. Abigail was sensible and beautiful. They were very wealthy and lived in the wilderness of Maon. One day, the King David sent a team of his men on errands and they needed Nabal's assistance. But Nabal was crude and mean even though the King's men had been very courteous to Nabal. "who does the king think he is anyway?” Nabal screamed at the king's men. When the King heard it, he wasted no time. He instructed 400 of his warrior to get their swords. Jumping on his horse, they started off, vowing to exterminate Nabal and all that he owned.

Meanwhile, news of the King's rage got to Abigail and she moved quickly. She instructed her servants to get some presents ready, mounted her horse and ran up to meet the king before he got to them. Using her good sense and soft speaking, Abigail appeased the king with his armed men and saved her and her family’s life. You can read the whole story in (1 Samuel 25). Had Nabal used words like Abigail did, there would not have been threats of war in the first place. While Nabal's words drew swords, Abigails words drew friendship. It is important to choose our words.

Feelings are volatile when in contact with unguided words, take precaution!

Words are extremely volatile substances and if not handled with caution could cause extensive damage to anything and everyone they fall upon. Words have removed people from prestigious positions and placed nobodies on the king’s thrones. The person who says “talk is cheap” has not taken inventory of the cost of improperly used words. I like to think of emotion like gasoline in a storage tank. Gasoline is useless unless it comes in contact with some form of ignition. If you draw gasoline from a storage tank and channel it through the appropriate system, it will move the engine to accomplish your objective. However, if you bring a fire to that same tank of gasoline, you could destroy not only the gasoline, but a whole city and the people in it. Emotion is to relationships what gasoline is to automobile. Emotion needs words to burn and move the relationship forward. However, if you expose human emotion to “naked words” you could destroy relationships, people and a whole city. Nothing stirs up emotion as easily as words and nothing destroys relationships faster than unguided words

Depending on who is using it and how it is used, words can bring peace and words can bring wars. Words bring blessing and curses. Words bring friends and enemies. Words bring love and hate. Words motivate and demoralize. Whether you get commotion or locomotion from the use of your words depends on how you use them to stir emotions of other people. Words, if not handled with caution could cause fire and expensive damages to anything and everyone they fall on. I have seen little things turn to big problems because of poor use of words. The Bible says soft answer turns away wrath but rash words bring fight. Proverbs (15:1). I have made some mistakes with the use of words and learned some lessons. I am still learning but I have observed two good qualities in people who use words wisely and I want to share them with you.

1. Be quick to listen. Did you know that most of what we say are responses to what others have said? That is why it's good to listen first. If we don't, our response will likely be wrong. I have made mistakes myself and responded to things that I later realized I did not understand at first. I will continue to improve my listening skills but here is one good quality I have observed in good listeners that help them respond to situations effectively: Good listeners listen quick. By 'quick' I mean smart, prompt and purposeful. A good listener will always:

a) Listen promptly.. The bible says a prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions, but the simple keeps going and suffers for it. What you choose to ignore may save your life. Paying attention to what is going on around us is not all about gossip but a smart listening skill to develop. If you do not understand what is going on, how can you choose whether to respond or to ignore?

b) Listen smart. You listen smart if you are able to hear in-between words. Meaning, you are able to pick what is not said out of the much or little that is said. This requires a quick assessment of the situation to understand motives and goals.

c) Listen empathically. You listen emphatically if you listen to understand a matter from another's perspective. Listening with prejudices or pre-determined responses often shut us out of the real thing. 

2. Be slow to speak. Just because you know what to say does not mean you should say it. Some things are better left unsaid or unwritten. This is especially important in the day of twitter, facebook or linked in. Have you noticed that there are more analysts than there are solution providers? Learning to speak less than you think you should is wisdom. Does this mean you should avoid speaking the truth? Not at all. There are some things that must be said even though it is known beforehand that they would ruffle feathers. However, it is smart to choose our words and to not speak hastily. 

This week, as you go about your life and business listen smart. Pay prompt attention to what you hear, listen on purpose and be slow to speak. Always remember that words can transport you to your desired destination if used in proper manner but they are also volatile and can destroy relationships if used in improper manner. You will succeed!

For comments or questions, please contact me at everydayblogging[at]gmail[dot]com

Rule-Of-Thumb for Interpersonal Relationships

In a world of drive thrus and fast foods, our definition of 'best' has improved from 'good quality' to include 'fast' 'easy' and 'convenient'. So, the other day as I was looking for a fast, easy and convenient formula for winning with people, I found this: "Do to others what you would like them do to you". It is not a new truth but its still the best.

Let's take a second look, are there really 'quick fixes' to interpersonal relationships? Besides, isn't one man meat another's  poison? How could we possibly treat everyone with one simple rule? 

Well, contrary to popular opinion, the "best" does not always have to be expensive and difficult-to get. The  best should be good quality, easy to get and affordable. When we define value soley by scarcity and price, we miss the point. Some of the most valuable things in life are not expensive in money sense. Seriously, if you are faced with a difficult interpersonal relationship issue at work or school, you are not going to need your text books even if you have degrees in sociology and psychology combined. What you need at such time is a simple, fast and reliable principle to resolve the issue. Having money to buy expensive gifts and luxurious vacations for the people in our lives would make no difference if we miss this simple rule-of-thumb for interpersonal relationships. 

Yes, I am aware of the debate over what constitutes ‘respect’ and how to relate with people across cultures and individual preferences. But I am also aware that regardless of how varied cultures and human preferences may be, we all have one thing in common- we are humans. Cultures may differ but people are the same. For example, no matter the culture or personal preference, everyone understands the meaning of a genuine smile, laughter or friendship. Whether, it is a one time genuine smile or a lifetime friendship one thing is common to all human- we want to be valued, celebrated, heard, forgiven and appreciated. There is no culture where these things are not understood. That is why Jesus Christ made it simple: "Do to others whatever you would like them do to you" (Matthew 7:12). 

So the simple rule for winning with people is putting yourself in their shoes and treating them as if you were treating yourself in that particular situation with your knowledge of basic human needs. You don't win with people by buying them expensive gifts although many would appreciate these. You win with people by getting into their hearts and that is by treating them as humans just like yourself. This rule is simple, fast, easy and convenient when you consider the trouble that come from trying to have things go our way all the time. This rule will work for the "easy-to-get-along with" as well as the "difficult-to-get-along with" people. It will work for the educated and the uneducated, black or white and men or woman. This rule is rooted in unconditional love.